The Ultimate Guide to Writing Thank You Letters

Well, you’ve done it: With the help of family, friends, wedding planners, and the Windows on Minnesota support staff, you managed to enjoy the perfect wedding at our dreamlike setting high above the Twin Cities—the very best place to tie the knot around.

A blissful honeymoon beckons, but it’s time to take care of a little very important business first: writing those thank-you notes to everyone who’s been a part of your matrimonial journey in one way or another.

In point of fact, etiquette experts aren’t all in agreement as to the socially acceptable timetable for sending thank-you cards on the heels of a wedding, but it doesn’t hurt to be proactive and to do so soon after the main event while you’re still basking in the afterglow.

Partly adapted from this nice roundup over at The Spruce, here are a few tips for making writing and sending thank-you letters an easier undertaking!

Make a List

It’s something of a judgment call to whom you’ll be sending these notes of gratitude. Give yourself time to come up with the list of recipients, as it’s all too easy to forget a crucial somebody. The roster, of course, should include those who attended your wedding (or associated events) and gave you gifts, but you’ll also want to think about anybody who sent their well-wishes, helped with planning and logistics, or contributed in any other fashion you deemed meaningful. (Heck, maybe it was the random friend of a friend who encouraged you to pop the question in the first place…)

Ensure You Have Up-to-Date Addresses

Sometimes this is the biggest challenge of wedding thank-you notes. You should have updated addresses for those you invited to your wedding, but it may take some digging and inquiries to make sure you’ve got the right info for others.

Personalize the Notes

It may go without saying, but a personalized note means so much more than a generic thank-you. Remember, these are people who joined you (whether physically or in spirit) for one of the most memorable experiences of your life; you should make the effort to relay your gratitude to them as directly and specifically as possible.

But don’t worry too much about the format or content of the notes: What’s important is expressing yourself honestly to the person in question. Be yourself, and cater your message to the recipient. Some might be loose, jokey notes; some might be more formal.

Break Up the Task

Don’t assign yourself and your brand-new spouse to one exhausting evening of scribbling and envelope-licking. Do a few cards at a time and the task will be a much more enjoyable one.

It can seem daunting to send thank-yous after a wedding, but you’ll feel so good after dropping the last one in the mail!

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